How you do it

In my last post I mentioned the idea of real communication skills, using sales skills to make connections and get farther with people because of those connections.  The real question is how do we do that?  What are the techniques to use to accomplish these goals?  Collectively it is known as active listening skills.  In a nutshell you are truly listening to what is being said and how it is being said, and formulating how you respond based on what you have heard.  It is about not only asking questions, but the right questions, it’s about knowing when to shut up and just listen.  It’s about knowing when to label emotions you hear in their voice.  This is a skill, an art form that can be learned and practiced, and lost if you do not use it.  Some of the things I am going to talk about in future posts will have a huge effect on your personal lives, meeting new people and friends, and getting people to like you, which is the key in a lot of situations. Life is about relationships, it’s not about stuff, house, cars, clothes.  Learning how to make new friends, communicating better with your spouse, your boss, will have a huge impact on your outlook.  You will be able to see opportunities in front of you and new connections can take your life in a completely new direction. Success is about recognizing opportunity and taking action.

Real communication skills

Communication skills and the ability to connect with people in conversation is at the core of why or why not people are successful in life. The ability to talk to people, relate to people and listen effectively is skills that are not formally taught to us.  They are typically not taught to us correctly by our parents, they are not taught to us by the public school system, and they are not taught to us in college. Not even in a MBA programs are the type of skills I am talking about really discussed. Yes they have classes on negotiating contracts and how to do it properly, but true communication skills  and more importantly “sales” skills are not taught. What I mean by sales skills is the ability to listen to information people are telling you, make them feel like you are listening and accomplishing your goals through that conversation.  There are not more important skills that we can teach our children than the ability to communicate effectively and to some degree sell people on things in life. The ability to make these connections will go farther for a young person making their way through college and early career than any college course they will ever take. The ability to connect with their peers and their bosses will make them an invaluable asset to whatever organization they associate themselves with, and they will be simply liked, which is more important than most people want to admit. Over my next couple posts I will be talking about some of the components of the skills I think are important. I have attended the Los Angeles police department and the FBI’s hostage negotiation schools and the skills that are taught to handle crisis and hostage negotiations are skills that everyone can put in place into their lives, work, relationships and marriage to communicate more effectively and in the end be more successful.